they just pretended to give you good defense and you were just a small gear in the defense. you had a movie who was made and almost by happenstance, they decided to take a hard look at this. without that what would have happened? >> they would have murdered me. the state would have gotten away with murdering me. the only reason why i'm sitting here now is because the pressure was too great and there was too much of a public outcry, and they knew it would cost them if they didn't do something in this case. really they would have murdered me and never lost a night's sleep over it if not for that. >> eliot: tell us briefly a bit of that. tell us what life was like in prison? >> it's a hell beyond anything i could even begin to articulate. you know, it's a regular occurrence in there. you have beatings, staff aggravation, torture. starvation, torture. i'll probably spend the rest of my life trying to recover from this. >> eliot: did you give up faith? did you give up hope? you know what was written about the gulag in russia, did you lose faith. >> i lost faith in the system, but